Just another day in........BMT

So today has been pretty uneventful--praise GOD! Alli woke up around 6:45 AM needing to potty and about to throw up. She was having a hissy-fit pointing and demanding the tissues and throw up pan; when right in the middle of all her drama she starts grunting, with a mouth full of spit. I said Alli you have to tell me what you want............she says, through the spit, "Nice shoes."

I said get up!! there is nothing wrong with you. Spit or swallow that spit!! GROSS-- After that she lay back down and decided to sleep a while longer. I, of course, couldn't go back to sleep and decided to grab some breakfast and get finished with some thank you notes I needed to write. Then I took them to the post office and ran up town to pick up mine and Doyle's Alli stickers for our trucks. They are perfect.

As of right now I am enjoying for handrolled sushi--complements of St. Jude cafeteria yummy..and Doyle picked up McDonalds on his way back from RMH.

It's funny that it's already 1:00 and I can't really account for where the day has gone. Hoping we are on our way out of here pretty soon!! We'll see what tomorrow brings............

Cancer

Just wondering...........why is cancer such a beast?? I had a stupid dream the other night about a big black bear trying to get me and the girls. She wasn't like snarling, foaming at the mouth but just climbing through the car. I am frantically trying to get the girls out of the car and into the house. But they are "lolly-gagging" around. Finally in the house and up the stairs the bear just keeps on coming; meandering along, but still after us. In the house she comes so out the window onto the deck we go..still dragging the girls who seem oblivious to the bear!!

So, Amanda looks up the significance of black bears in my dream on a Christian web site!! (OMG) She tells me that this stands for a fear of some sort. That it represents something I am afraid of. YOU THINK?? I don't know if I believe all that but I will say that it gave me some perspective.

I asked her "do you really think men like David and Abraham had NO FEAR?" She said " I think they had fear I just think they had more faith." Well, that makes sense. She and I looked at it like this.............while everyone else chose to stay in their tents, David chose to face his fear and step out in front of that giant with just a sling and a stone. Knowing that GOD was BIG ENOUGH to give him the courage he lacked to complete the task.

Amanda also stated that her pastor said something very profound this past week. "Death has a mortality rate of 100%" - Only one man has survived it and even HE had to be dead for 3 days!!

Anyway, I don't know what all this really means except that I have a new perspective on fear. First, the thing we fear most is the one thing that we can count on happening!! 100%! Secondly, we can either choose to live in fear of things or we can step out on faith knowing that GOD's plan can and will only be accomplished when we face the giants that loom before us.

.........personally......I choose to be a David!! So bring on the bears---I'm ready, willing and able to fight--with just my sling and a stone!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Good Morning,
Alli is trying to eat something and that is music to my ears. However, she is complaining of her throat hurting and her "booty" hurting which indicates that she is beginning to develop the muscositis. It's not bad and I am praying that this is the worst of it.

Her ANC is back to 700 today, Hemoglobin 7.7 and platelets ??? I don't know. Her liver enzymes were up yesterday but are looking better today and her other blood chemistry (Mg, K, etc..) are ok.

Today is her last day of chemo and then tomorrow is the "the day of rest." On Wednesday they will administer the stem cells and then.......we wait!!

This morning during my Bible study I came across this statement.
"Although there will always be some lingering influence of the flesh until we meet the Lord, we have no excuse for sin to continue to corrupt our lives..We have the resources of the Spirit of Christ within us to resist and put to death the deeds of the body, which result from living according to the flesh." ...John MacArthur.

......it made me realize that there will be moments, and have been moments, in Alli's journey that my flesh takes over and I am downtrodden and have feelings of no hope. However, it is the ongoing battle between flesh and spirit that causes these feelings to arise. In that realization I also know that when these times arise it is up to me to seek the counsel of the Holy Spirit and the Word of GOD to win the spiritual battle for Christ.

Today, as you face the daily routine of life where will you turn when spiritual warfare arises? Who's side will you choose to stand and fight on? Warfare comes in all shapes and sizes. For some it may be food, depression, gossip, lust...(whatever). But the thing to remember is that it is a daily battle and it is up to us to "put on our armor" DAILY and wage war against the powers of this world, all the time persuing the prize of heaven!!!

God's love and mine,
paula