This is all I have to offer you.............

This past Saturday I had the privilege of meeting a great poet and writer, Mr. Jimmy Santiago-Baca. During our time together Mr. Baca asked us to use his poem "I'm offering this poem ...." as a model to write our own version...........here is my attempt.

This is all I have to offer you..........

This is all I have to offer you, my strength
Wrap yourself in it when you feel the nausea of disease creep in

Wear it like armor
When your body wages war against the drugs

Stand firm on it
When your bald reflection says you are weak

Hold on to it
When the searing pain of endless needles pierce your skin

Hope for it
When the world says you will be a statistic

My strength is all I have to offer you
As I lie here watching you fight...................

Rouge to Orleans

(Location - Natchitoches...........member of the NSUWP Advanced Institute)

In the fall of 2012 myself and some very ambitious beautiful women (an one crazy man) set out on a journey of 126.2 miles. The Rouge to Orleans is a relay race that begins at the break of dawn in downtown Baton Rouge at the USS Kidd and ends in New Orleans at the Audubon Park.  Living together for 24 hours in a 16 passenger van was an experience all its own but the real experience for me began the moment I took my first steps beside the river in Baton Rouge.............

I began running in 2010 when our daughter was diagnosed with Stage IV high risk Neuroblastoma. Running was my medication - my way of dealing with cancer when I couldn't deal any more. I had never been a runner before - I thought it would always be "cool" to say "I'm a runner........LOL.......I totally got more than what I expected!"

Before Rouge to Orleans I had run several races including a couple of 1/2's and even an obstacle course race. But nothing could have prepared me for the person I discovered on that long lonely cool night on the Mississippi's levee just me and my thoughts.............

(this writing is a work in progress...................)

Whispers of Hope

WOW - I love how when we pray for something..........GOD always shows up!  

From Beth Moore's "Whispers of Hope" -- 
"Imagine this poignant scene. The child of God musters her last bit of strength to collapse before the throne of God. Words do not come - just groanings. They are not her groanings, though they emerge from so deep within, she thinks they are hers. The Spirit of God searches her heart, gathers her pain, and lifts it to the Father of all comfort. The Spirit of God, knowing both the depth of her agony and the will of the Father, can bring forth glory from even this. The Spirit insists the Father usher overflowing comfort. He urges the child of God to let the Father have His way. The Spirit prays for things the child of God could not bear to pray - that she lacks the courage to pray. The Spirit prays for glory." (Re: Romans 8:26) --

How awesome to be reminded that when we can't even speak the words in our hearts - and only tears or groanings come........the Holy Spirit intercedes for us before the Father and He hears our prayers.........

Lillian Ryals update.....................

Lillian's surgery was a success. Doctors will know in a few days what the plan of treatment will be. Please continue to pray for her healing and comfort as she heals. Her pain is being managed but as we all know............there is still pain. I ask for a special prayer for her young mother Elisabeth (BB) as she sits by her bedside. 

God Father - we ask you give strength and rest to Elisabeth. That YOU alone LORD would fill her thoughts with only healing for Lillian. Give her courage and focus to SPEAK YOUR WORD over Lil' and to boldly call out to YOU when she feels the devil closing in on her thoughts. Give her clarity of mind as You never have before. Strengthen her as YOU strengthened David-- God let her know - the BATTLE IS IN YOUR HANDS!!! AMEN 

1 John 1:9 .........

OK -- so I'd like to follow up on verse from last night’s Prayer Meeting. We are studying the Joshua Code and I’m reading Whispers of HOPE by Beth Moore for my morning devotional. After last night’s study on 1 John 1:9  and consequently that morning my devotional reading had been 1 John 1:9 – I decided to re-visited the scripture….because I just knew I was missing something!!  My study focused on this core point "Without the cross - forgiveness and justice cannot co-exist."  Without the cross we would be hopeless - our confession of sin could only bring a "just" verdict of guilty and a swift sentence of "death" -- yikes!! 

I re-read my devotion & the Joshua Code devotion and thought "Lord, what am I supposed to find here?? ............" -- SO -- I did a little reading in my Bible (duh, God's word is always the best source) When I read this before I read the verse from my Bible but didn't really read the commentary at the bottom. 

At present, I am dealing with a person (who I believe is wrestling with satan) really raining down some misery on me. During the day and at night -- I walk around or drive and all I can do is literally cry or talk out loud to GOD pleading with HIM to protect me, my family and my reputation from this individual.  HE is faithful and multiple times has protected me, calmed my temper and kept my mouth shut - (BIG OBSTACLE) with this person! 

Anyway.......my commentary led me to Psalms (143 and several others) -- Psalm 143 is a prayer for deliverance from enemies and for divine leading! (LOL -- ain't GOD good!!!) - I began to read GOD's Word and immediately felt relief -- and lots of laughing - because GOD once again just amazes me!! When Alli was sick I read the Psalms many times - some of them out loud to ward off depression and anxiety. It occurs to me that sometimes when my life is going along smoothly I forget to be as diligent in prayer and reading GOD's Word as I should be -- after all the devil is always on the prowl! But when trials come I want to jump into complete and utter 24/7 communion with HIM -- 

Which of course brings up back to 1 John 1:9 -- Forgiveness is truly conditional, confessional and continual (Joshua Code).  In order for us to feel that 24/7 communion with GOD we must agree with HIM that "we have sinned, confess our sins daily, and know true confession leads to true forgiveness........................huh - guess GOD really did want me to re-read 1 John 1:9! (Yes, I'm laughing out loud) 

I don't know what compelled me to write this morning (GOD?) - But I have been reading and studying since early this morning and I couldn't wait to share GOD's goodness with whomever HE intends to read this…………..

God's love and mine, 

Prayers for a friend...........

Dear family and friends, 


I am writing today to ask for prayer for a dear family. Our friends the Ryals family have a daughter (5 y/o) who has been diagnosed with Wilms Tumor. (looking like Stage 2) - Liliian, is to have surgery today to remove the encased kidney and then chemo to follow. I will update when I have more details. 

Lillians sweet mama is named Elisabeth - and I've had the privilege of watching her grow up from about Lil's age to the beautiful woman she is today! It is heartbreaking to Doyle and me to watch this precious mama  - who is so special to us - suffer this road of cancer! We knew our CB Family was SO BIG that this was the best place to send out our prayer request!! So we lift up Lillian, Elisabeth, Will and their families to you all for prayer and above all to the LORD JESUS CHRIST!  (Psalm 30:2 - Oh Lord my God - I cried out to You and YOU HEALED ME!!) 
AMEN